Before the West

Hey. So - it will take me a few days to write up my LA report in my journal and then transcribe it onto here. In the meantime, here's the blog entry I wrote while on the plane on Friday:



I’m flying over the Rockies as I write this (obviously not connected to the internet), and I am once again overtaken by the vast and varied beauty of this planet. Oh, but it is wonderfully and fearfully made. How could one ever think that such a piece of artistry ever came about by random astronomical chance. I suppose there’s wonder in that line of thinking too, but I know what these mountains say to me.

I’m on my way to LA and I am so excited. I know people generally hate that city, but I love it in ways I couldn’t really explain if I tried – so I won’t. It feels wonderful to be going back, if only for a short while. But it’s strange, the last time I was there I was so certain that eventually I would be returning for good. Now, I wonder if I ever will.

I never went to Austin thinking I would stay. I kept my expectations as low as I could, but I suppose that I hoped this year would be fun, fulfilling, and somehow altering. What I got was all of that and more – maybe even a home. Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about what Austin means to me. I say how much I love it all the time, but so much of that love is tied to the people I know here. And everyday that chance that those people will leave grows, and I have to wonder how much I would love my city without them. But my experiences wandering the city at South By, and riding in the ambulance (more on that in a moment) have shown me that Austin does indeed feel like my city.

I love my friends here, but I also love the way the tall buildings, like Frost Tower, grow out of the concrete sidewalks downtown, and the way the trees twist and curve like their frozen in dance, but never grow too high. And I love the way that everywhere you go here and almost everyone you meet, there’s this pervasive feeling that we’re all just so damn lucky to be here. To have found this place and to be able to stay here. It’s this – I think – that I love most of all. Because this is what reassures me that even if everyone I loved in the city left, there would just be more people here for me to love and be loved by. So I think I will stay here, for at least awhile – until my heart calls me elsewhere.

Ambulance. Wednesday night I did a ride-along with my friend Erica’s husband who is a paramedic in Austin. I shadowed him and his partner for a full 12 hour shift from 7 pm to 7 am and it was so totally awesome. Maybe not quite as exciting as one would hope – we only got 4 calls and none of them were urgent – but it just set me on fire. I feel like being a paramedic is something that’s been floating around in my head for years, as something I always thought would be incredibly cool to do, but assumed that I couldn’t because of how horrible I am at science. And now I’m on this different path – this filmmaking/writing path – but after Wednesday night, I can’t help but think that maybe in another lifetime that could’ve been my dream job.

* This is where I stopped, so I'll leave it as is - but look for my LA update soon.

Surreality is my Actuality

Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping into the future.

Things are strange. Not bad, kind of great, but strange.

I riding the wave of post-spring break surreality.

This past week has to have been one of the best weeks of my life. I mean, there was a little drama... there always is with me - but I spent so much of this week acutely aware of how happy I am here, in this life.

Here's the quickest overview I can manage:

* Went out last Saturday with all my current housemates for next year... met a boy.

* Went to the beach on Monday with almost all of my favorite people (Anna D, Tim, John, C-wid, Rocky, Lauren, and and had a wonderfully beautiful day. Went the furthest out I've been since I was 10. I heart the ocean... and my friends.

* Tuesday was St. Patrick's Day. Festivities started at 1 pm... 'nough said. (It was the crazy kind of fun)

* Laid out on Wednesday with C-wid, Jen, and Tim - got a decent tan. Played in a softball game as catcher... we lost 19-2 but went for beer after anyway. K. Roe came in town!

* Thursday went to some fantastic shows for bands I knew nothing about with the same favorite people (Amy, Tim, Lauren, K. Roe and Leah), then went to see Aric's band's first show. It was great until the police shut it down. Finally saw Lila and K. Roe and friends.

* Friday saw shows downtown, then went to Barton Springs with Anna D, Tim, Amy, John, C-wid and Jen and got an even better tan. :D Then went to a party friday night and also saw the boy (Nate) again before he left for London.

* Saturday saw shows all day including my FAVORITE band from Athens, Modern Skirts, with many favorite people (K. Roe, Lila, Lilaboy, Tim, Amy, Lauren, Clara, Leah, John). Then hung out with the band (friends!) and Amy bought a CD and got it signed by them all and the drummer said he normally wouldn't sign but since it was for friends... EEK! Finished the night chillin at Amy's watching old music videos of Weird Al and rap from like 6th grade with the favorites. (I didn't mention that in 6th grade I was listening to Spice Girls)

* Sunday finally got some sleep, went shopping with Lila and K. Roe, communed with Amy and K. Roe at the pizza parlour, and watched a fabulous episode of Supernatural. I am so stoked for this weekend!


It was wonderful. Now I'm back in the office and things are returning to normal and I find myself somewhat sad that I no longer have the pleasure of having my favorites all to myself... and all doing fun things. :( It was worth it though. Wonderfully worth it.

Here's a question, how do you give up something/someone when you know you have to move on, but you just don't want to and it doesn't hurt yet and there's no sign of the fact that it will be bad for you later, but you know it will be? I have no willpower when it comes to denying myself things/people I want.

LA in 4 days. Woo!

Call me Ace

I woke up in a wonderfully good mood today. This may or may not have to do with the 10 hours of sleep I received last night. Either way, I feel like I'm some crazy pendulum with the way I've been swinging back and forth lately.

Anywho, watched The Guardian last night... man I love that movie. I don't care what anyone says - I think it's good. Also read the intro for my GRE study book which came in the mail yesterday. Is it strange that I'm excited about it? Whatevs, I love taking tests. Amy and I made a bet about who would score higher. My goal is a 1600. That's a perfect score people. I mean, why the heck not. It could happen!

When I woke up this morning I realized that at that moment, the thing I wanted most in the world was to take a month (or 2) off, go live someplace rainy (preferably Scotland), shack up in an old house with a huge stone fireplace and reread the entire Harry Potter series. Since this is not currently feasible I am going to settle for a week of SPRING BREAK. WOOOOO! And dream about my future life as a filmmaker when I can infact take a month off to go live in Scotland and read Harry Potter.

What else?

Oh yeah. Tonight ER is bringing back George Clooney, Eric La Salle, and Juliana Marguelies. This will probably make me cry. Also I think they may ruin the potential of the show's current story line but that's okay.

Last thing: Everyday when I drive to work I go on this exit ramp that has two arrows made out of reflector lights that feel like tiny speed bumps when you go over them. Everyday, I try to make the arrow fit right between the wheels of my car so I can't feel the bumps. Today, I fit both arrows perfectly.

I am aces.

A New Spin on Things

So with the recent realization that there might be people that care about my life but don't enjoy reading 10 page blog entries about it, I've decided to try a new format. Rather than very occasionally writing horrendously long blogs, I'm going to trying to update roughly every day with fairly short entries. Can I get an Amen?

So yeah, we'll see how this goes.

Meanwhile, we seem to have said goodbye (temporarily) to that awesome Texas weather, and right now I'm staring out my window at gray rainy skies. Outside it is bitterly cold. Oh how the weather here likes to keep you on your toes.

Spanish conversation night right after work. I was sort of coerced into going, but it should be fun. After that, my first night not doing something for 2 weeks. Woo.

Spring Break in 2 short days. I. am. so. stoked. Maybe when I get back there will be less complaining all around about everything wrong about CoFo and more appreciation for what's good about it before it's gone forever. Maybe I'll remember why I fell in love with this job in the first place.

Best part of spring break? Staying at my friend Erica's house. Alone. For several days. AKA - the first time I'll have been alone in 7 months.

Still too long, I'll work on it.

I hope it gets warm again. Soon.

I wish there was an ocean here.