Hey friends.
Do you know how many times I have started writing a blog update and not published it? No - you don't. But the answer is a lot. A lot times.
The reasons I have not published are varied - but they mostly boil down to two things.
1) my life is boring and nothing ever changes
2) I've been rocking the emo-funk lately, and emo entries are sooo freshman year of college.
Here is a brief summary of the last 3 weeks of my life.
I developed a crush on one of my good guy friends/coworkers. This has affected every aspect of my life because I am a melodramatic person who allows things like silly crushes (that are not very silly really - or unimportant) to affect her whole life.
The result of my illicit crush has been my awkwardness towards said friend, as well as an increase in my awkward nature in general, and a general increase in my self-consciousness due to my increased awkwardness. And due to my overly-analytical nature I have become self-conscious about my self-consciousness. It's all quite ridiculous.
But I have decided (on the advice of friends) that the best thing for my mental health is to tell said crush the truth - and I will be doing so as soon as I get the courage to. Which might take awhile. But hopefully it will be soon and then I can go back to writing boring blog entries about things that don't make any of my parents uncomfortable and don't lead any of my best friends to make another mark on the long tally sheet of "Layton's crushes that increase her awkwardness level."
Here's hoping!
Monday, January 26, 2009
Friday, January 16, 2009
Monday, January 5, 2009
First full day back in Austin - for some reason I'm lacking the brain power (read: ambition) to write a well thought out blog entry. Nevertheless - here goes something.
Work has been fairly mindless today. There are certainly things I could be doing today - indeed things I should be doing - but we start a week of training tomorrow and I think somehow they knew we would do nothing today. So I'm simply living up to expectations.
It's good to be back. It's not as good as I thought it would be, just as being at home didn't seem as intensely poignant as I thought it would be. They both just kind of seem like life. But when I almost didn't get on my flight yesterday, I was going to be potentially very upset.
Last night we kidnapped Amy and Tim came over and we played Dutch Blitz and Pass the Pigs and watched Independence Day. Today we played Dutch Blitz at work and browsed through funny personal ads on Craigslist. My boss met her very cool boyfriend on CL - does that mean it can occasionally work?
I'm not desperate for a relationship right now, but Ben Button did sort of get me in the mood for love. Brad and Cate are just looking at each other in these scenes throughout the whole movie with such intense and genuine love. Utter trust. I'm not sure I've ever trusted anyone that much. I just hope that someday - whenever it is - I'm sharing that kind of look with somebody. I imagine it must be lovely to trust someone that much - even if it is imperfect. Meanwhile - I'm bored - so a date would be nice. People I like are going on dates with other people.
Tonight I'm going over to Max's with John and Amy to watch the UT game. It should be lots of fun. And today Amy, John, Tim, Rocky, and I talked about living in this house next year: http://austin.craigslist.org/apa/979571649.html . Unreal.
I often feel like there must be a catch to this life hiding somewhere - waiting to trip me up. But I think actually, it's just that great. Perhaps that is why I try so hard to convince people to move here. If it has been this great for me - surely it would be good for others too. This place is like the most well known secret - a place where life is fun and makes sense.
This semester I am looking forward to visits from: Anna (moving?), Meredith (sister), Mom and Don, Anne (?), Meredith L. (?), Lila and who knows? So excited to show you all this wonderful life I've found.
What else? This Sunday I am determined to go back to church.
That's all for now.
Work has been fairly mindless today. There are certainly things I could be doing today - indeed things I should be doing - but we start a week of training tomorrow and I think somehow they knew we would do nothing today. So I'm simply living up to expectations.
It's good to be back. It's not as good as I thought it would be, just as being at home didn't seem as intensely poignant as I thought it would be. They both just kind of seem like life. But when I almost didn't get on my flight yesterday, I was going to be potentially very upset.
Last night we kidnapped Amy and Tim came over and we played Dutch Blitz and Pass the Pigs and watched Independence Day. Today we played Dutch Blitz at work and browsed through funny personal ads on Craigslist. My boss met her very cool boyfriend on CL - does that mean it can occasionally work?
I'm not desperate for a relationship right now, but Ben Button did sort of get me in the mood for love. Brad and Cate are just looking at each other in these scenes throughout the whole movie with such intense and genuine love. Utter trust. I'm not sure I've ever trusted anyone that much. I just hope that someday - whenever it is - I'm sharing that kind of look with somebody. I imagine it must be lovely to trust someone that much - even if it is imperfect. Meanwhile - I'm bored - so a date would be nice. People I like are going on dates with other people.
Tonight I'm going over to Max's with John and Amy to watch the UT game. It should be lots of fun. And today Amy, John, Tim, Rocky, and I talked about living in this house next year: http://austin.craigslist.org/apa/979571649.html . Unreal.
I often feel like there must be a catch to this life hiding somewhere - waiting to trip me up. But I think actually, it's just that great. Perhaps that is why I try so hard to convince people to move here. If it has been this great for me - surely it would be good for others too. This place is like the most well known secret - a place where life is fun and makes sense.
This semester I am looking forward to visits from: Anna (moving?), Meredith (sister), Mom and Don, Anne (?), Meredith L. (?), Lila and who knows? So excited to show you all this wonderful life I've found.
What else? This Sunday I am determined to go back to church.
That's all for now.
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