Heart in my Hands

Hey gang,

I figured it was about time for another update - particularly since I'll have plenty more to write about after this weekend. Don't want to give myself too much ground to cover at once.

To clarify, I am going to San Antonio this weekend to visit Lila and I am super stoked for several reasons. First and foremost - seeing Lila will be most excellent. She'll be the first familiar face I've seen since moving here and of course it helps that she's one of my favorite people in the whole world! Add to that that I'll be able to watch some rockin' Georgia football with a fellow UGA fan (more on this excitement later). Plus, now that I've sort of done the whole touristy thing here in Austin, it'll be nice to poke around a new city and take cheesy pictures (try video!). And I get to earn Americorps hours! And another nice side benefit will be coming "home" to Austin for the first time - I think that'll be the real test of how I'm settling into this place. Overall, it should be an awesome weekend and I expect to get very little sleep!

Meanwhile, I would like to take a moment to just point out OREGON STATE'S RIDICULOUS WIN OVER USC LAST NIGHT! Seriously, did you people see that game?! Holy. cow. All I know is USC might as well just hide in the lockeroom for the rest of the season because their shot at the Natty Champ is as good as over. Man, our chance is so real this year I can almost taste it! And let me just say that if by some horrific chance we don't make it all the way - it sure as heck better not be because we lost to the most podunk backwards university in the South. There is only one school I hate and that is Alabama my friends. So we better pull it out this weekend - and if it takes our black jerseys to do it - so be it. That's all I've got to say about that.

In other news (ironically stated), I'm currently trying to avoid watching the news because every time I do I start to freak out. I get that it's all sensationalism, but there's no pretending that our economy isn't having a hard time right now. And I have to either find a job or go to grad school in the midst of that mess. So what I want to know is - is it worse to take out loans and go to grad school now, or try to find a stable job in the midst of a tenuous job market? I guess it doesn't really matter, because I think the grad school thing will happen regardless. It's just a question of whether it should happen next year, the year after, or some ambiguous time after that.

Speaking of grad schools, I've been reading more and more about film school and I thinking that's the way I'm headed pretty much for sure. I mean things can always change - and with me they certainly do change often - but for now, I feel confident about it. I've realized recently that there are always going to be a million things I wish I was doing (just this morning I wished for the first time ever that I was in D.C. doing the whole political thing), but the point is - what is the thing that I would regret not doing the most. I think I know.

Unfortunately, knowing that I want to go to film school hardly narrows my path at all. Because, there are all these schools (although I'm narrowing that list down pretty effectively) and all these different types of film, and all these different jobs within film - and you have to go to different schools and do different things for each of them. There's a part of me that knows I should go industry - cause that's the way I'm wired - but then there's the part of me that just wants to be able to write and direct my own way. And there's this whole other side of me that just wants to take my camera and travel the world in search of the real stories: aka. documentary. And then there's deciding between screenwriting, directing, producing, or some other thing that I've yet to discover. How am I supposed to choose when I love it all?


Alright - that's enough crisising for right now - back to work. By the way, I get my juniors next week! Hell yeah!