Making it Mine

Wow. It is definitely time for a blog update so I can leave that last entry in emo-land where it belongs.

This weekend was absolutely CRAZY and very much needed after the mucho stressful week I had at work last week. All I'll say about work is that there was a whole lot of disgruntled employeeness (not solely on my part) that I'm pretty sure stems from CF being at the threshold of becoming an established, standarized organization - rather than the grassroots, homegrown project it's been up to this point. It's always hard to be wrapped up in something as the cement starts to dry.

Let us say no more about that dismal topic - and instead focus on the ridiculousness that was my weekend. First of all and - perhaps - MOST importantly, Lila came! It was most excellent. Not only did it feel absolutely wonderful to finally be able to show someone this new life of mine, but it also added some significance to my earlier trip to visit Lila. Now we're not just two best friends living new lives relatively close to each other - now we're a part of each other's new lives too. And it helped a lot that she got along with my friends fabulously - and they thought she was wicked cool.

Lila arrived at around 8 on Friday night, which was nice because it forced me to clean my room for the first time in several weeks. She got here and we went on an intense search for Leinenkeugal Sunset Wheat, which led us across town where we randomly decided to purchase the Shiner Hefe instead. Bad choice, IMHO, but worth it for the experience.

We got back to the apt right as friends were showing up to pregame and Tim and I discovered that we were wearing matching outfits... awkward. A bunch of people came over, including Chris, Amy, Jane, Tim, Rocky, Christina, and my roommate John of course. Haha, after a little bit of Harry Potter watching and conversing at home, we headed downtown to check out Molotov on West 6th street. Molotov turned out to pretty lame, so we quickly decided to head back to our old standard - The Tiniest Bar in Texas. This bar is actually just a gravel lot with christmas lights and picnic tables and a shed with a limited selection of beverages. Basically, it is awesome. Fabiola and her boyfriend met up with us too. We hung out there for the rest of the night, laughing, sharing stories, and (thanks to Lila's wicked phone) listening to some Modern Skirts. Actually, listening to Save Me that night was the first time I've really missed Athens since I left, but any sadness was tempered by the awesome atmosphere and energy of that night. Unfortunately, Anna and Laura showed up right as we were leaving the bar, and Renato never managed to meet up with us. But it was still a pretty sweet night which culminated with an impromptu trip to Whattaburger for some Justaburger goodness. How very fabulous.

Lila and I slept in a little on Saturday, and woke up just in time to realize that we were supposed to be at the Texas Fair Trade Forum (where we were volunteering) an hour earlier than we thought. So we quickly got our stuff together and headed out with John. The Forum was pretty interesting, but since I'm entirely not an auditory learner a lot of what was said was lost on me. But also cool was the fact that I was appointed video taper - so now I have filmwork to add to my resume. Aha, sweet!

Post-Trade Forum, John, Lila, and I headed to downtown proper so I could show Lila my favorite part of the city... the city part. We went to the Capitol first so I could show her the star than you stand on and only you can hear your voice echo. We checked out the Senate and HoR rooms, and Lila pointed out the plethora of stars involved in the interior design - so my kind of place!

We walked down Congress a bit, then over to Central Presbyterian on 8th - which I'd forgotten was hosting an Interfaith Arts Festival that pretty much rocked. We went to 6th Street next and realized as we walked that we were very very hungry. So we ended up at this place called the Iron Cactus which was a little pricey for my taste but had some of the best spinach and artichoke dip I've ever had in my life. And we all got into this discussion on fair trade which was kind of awesome.

We left downtown and dropped John off at home and then head straight for Austin Presbyterian Theological Seminary, which I had yet to visit. It turned out to be literally right next to the UT campus which was only bad at the time because we were mobbed by drunken UT fans on their way to the Mizzou game. Nevertheless, Austin Sem. was BEAUTIFUL. Also on the main sign they had some of my favorite bible quotes of all time - emphasizing the ultimate commandment to LOVE. Yay!

Next I gave Lila a tour of our office which was pretty sweet, and then we headed home to finally chill for awhile. We got back and settled down to *finally* watch Maura Tierney's last episode of ER which originally aired on Thursday. It was amazing and also a nice flashback to my past life. There was this really cool scene where

[SPOILERS - IF YOU CARE ABOUT THE EPISODE THEN DON'T READ THE NEXT PARAGRAPH]


Abby is packing up her locker and she's prying off her name placard to take with her and Heleh walks in and asks her all sternly, "What do you think you're doing with that?" And Abby says it's a souvenir but Heleh tells her to follow her, and she takes back through the storage room and opens the door to this utility closet and there - against the cement wall - are the name placards of all the doctors and nurses who've left County General. They're ALL there! Del Amico and Boulet and Benton and Ross and Hathaway. "Some of them we had to put up for them," Heleh says and the camera focuses on Greene and Pratt. Abby asks about Carter's and Heleh tells her he refused - he said it was defacement of government property. Ha. And then Heleh tells Abby that she's the first to ever put up two. And Abby places her own and Luca's at the top of the wall. It was really an incredible scene, and even though I know they probably never even considered that idea until they sat down to break the episode, it felt like it could have been there all along - it was *such* and ER thing. And even though I'm descending into disgusting cheesiness I have to say that it really hit me. Because I've literally been watching this show for my entire life - and here are all the characters that I've cared about at one time or another - not gone or forgotten - but still firmly attached to memory and life somewhere in a hidden closet. Just like all the pieces of my life that have come and gone, all the people I've loved but no longer see or no longer know, all of it is still there - not gone forever, but lovingly placed on some wall of memory in my mind. If ever there were a time I needed to remember that, it's now.


[END SPOILERS]

Anywho, after we watched ER we headed over to Amy's for the shindig she threw in Lila's honor. It was another successful party at the commune where Lila got to spend some quality time with the people I've gotten closest to since moving here. I spent a good chunk of the party talking to Amy and two of Zach's friends - Adam and Alamo Joe (I call him this because of multiple Joes and the fact that he works at Alamo Drafthouse) - who we've also gotten to know. And then at one point I was sitting on Amy's front porch listening to Tim and Rocky playing music together (harmonica and guitar mostly) and it was just so nice - this perfect moment of contentment - and life felt so so right. And I realized - not for the first time - that I love it here.

This whole weekend was about realizing that, and also realizing how seamlessly Lila and I fit back into each other's lives. When she was here, it was like neither of us ever left. And there's something really comforting about that - it makes me feel like I have the freedom to go live this new life - without sacrificing the things I cared about most in my life before Texas.

Sunday I slept in again, and Lila left around 10:30 or 11. Eventually I met up with Amy and Anna (another CF friend) and we went downtown to meet up with Alamo Joe, Adam, and Zach to participate in this Zombie walk they had organized. Basically there were a few hundred people dressed up like the undead and we "shambled" and shuffled our way all over downtown and up to the steps of the Capitol for Zombie rights. I think that this was actually to advertise for this festival or something at the Alamo Drafthouse, but I'm not really sure. The point is that it was so much fun! Seriously, all these tourists were watching us and taking pictures and videos of us and we were growling at them and generally freaking people out. We made this one little girl cry, but that (and the sticky corn syrup blood) was the only real downside. I love that I'm the kind of person that terrorizes downtown Austin as a zombie. And that I'm friends with those kind of people too.

We had a happy hour afterwards at this bar downtown that gave us a whole keg of free, really good beer. As in Live Oak Hefe - but I stuck to water cause it was crazy hot.

After the happy hour, Amy, Anna and I went with Zach, Alamo Joe, and Adam to this restaurant called Star Seeds where they apparently eat abotu 10 times a week. It was a really really good time. They're all these movie buffs - especially Joe - and man - it's just nice to have cool people to talk to.

I was exhausted after all that, so I left as soon as we got back to Amy's house. I got home and Kimi was over (Kevin's friend who is also our friend now) and all my roommates were there and we watched Extreme Makeover Home Edition together and then Kev's friend Colin came over too and we all played the Wii all night and then we watched the Rays win the ALCS which was awesome.

You know - the only shadow on yesterday was that I spent a lot of it missing home. It's not that I want to go back for good, but I really really want to go home - just for a weekend. I want to see my parents, I want see D.P. one last time - I don't know - I just want to check back in. And I wish tickets weren't so expensive and/or I wasn't so poor so that I could.

But I was driving home last night from Amy's and I was thinking about how much fun I'd had that day and how great all the people I know here and it occured to me (once again) how Austin is absolutely the perfect place for me to be right now. I feel like it's this city of Lost Children (as in the Lost Boys from Peter Pan). We're just all these people who've run away from home and we don't want to grow up but it's happening anyway - so we're together in this fun carnival of a city holding tight to whatever remnant of childhood we can grasp (like zombie walks) and laughing and running around and living in the sunlight. And even when all I want to do is go home and see my family, it's still so much better than it could be because I know that I'm here with all these people who are away from their families too. It seems like almost no one in Austin is from here - we're all just making a home out of this place we've found.

So even though I still want to go home, it's nice to know that this place is becoming home too. I'm making it mine.

- L

ps. I really miss my nephew.