A Place in Time, Beyond the Sun

Hey beautiful/lovelies,

Have I mentioned lately how much I LOVE Texas? Seriously, last night I went to the Miss Kyle pageant (Kyle is the town where my high school is) and it was REE-dic-u-lous! The theme was (of course) the Wild, Wild West, and all of the girls danced around in cowboy boots and daisy dukes. Holy. cow. To be honest, I think the other coaches and I all felt like first-class creepers, and I sent a silent prayer up that I never had to go down that beauty queen path. You know, most of the time I'm not particularly aware that I'm in Texas... but then I go to something like Miss Kyle and - yep - it's Texas.

In other news, it's been a heck of a week at work! The second week of junior classes and I suddenly went from feeling like I didn't have enough to do - to feeling completely and utterly overwhelmed. I stressed about it at first, but I guess I'm getting into a rhythm and eventually I'll just be used to it. I'm still loving my kids, but it's just becoming more and more clear to me that this... teaching - it isn't the path for me. At least not right now. Which makes me future - my immediate future anyway - very unclear. I mean I think this film thing is going to happen - I want it to happen. But film school is nearly 2 years off - and I'll be done with CF in 8 months (maybe) - so the question is - what happens then? What happens between CF and Film School?

I have been seriously thinking of doing a second year at CF, but I'm just not sure. It'd be great to stay with my kids and see them graduate - see them go off to college. And some of my closest friends here are thinking of doing a second year - not to mention my roommates. And this - this is good work that I'm doing - something meaningful. But it's not the only thing I can do. And it's not where I'm headed. Things at work can be... stressful. And I get that work will always be stressful, but it can be a different kind of stress. I'm not sure I can have the kind of job where I might be required to go against my personal morals just to keep getting my paycheck (especially when it's an $800/mo paycheck). I just envision myself being burnt out a year from now. I guess we'll see.

If I'm not staying at College Forward, then I don't know what I'll be doing - the possibilities are endless. I guess that's the appeal - but sooner or later, I have to choose something. I could see myself sticking around Austin for another year - it's a cool city, opportunities abound, and regardless of whether they do CF, most of the people I know will still be here. But - I don't know - if I could find a way to swing it, I could also see myself spending a year in New York or - hell - maybe even bumming around Europe. The bottom line is: I'm young and I won't be young forever - next year may be my last chance to do something... unexpected.

Well, whatever happens - it won't be for awhile. For now I'm here and I'm going to make the most it.

Life in Austin continues, and I'm checking out University Pres tonight. More updates soon.